Love, Sex and Money

These three factors are mainly responsible for relationship troubles. Here's how to tackle them

One problem or the other plagues all relationships at some point. While many people decide to ignore their issues and keep hanging on to the relationship, others give up without making any attempt to work it out. While you may feel that you are the one with all the problems, the other person may also have complaints about your behaviour. Here are some problems that are bound to figure on your list and the way to go about solving them.

Sex
If you feel men are the ones who have issues with their sex life, think again. A recent survey says that more than 64% of women are unhappy with their partner's performance in the bed. To keep the chemistry in your relationship intact, talk it out.

- Don't feel shy to admit your issues to your partner. It is likely that your spouse/partner doesn't realise that you are unhappy.
- Spice it up. Ask your partner what he/she would want to be more happy with your bedroom behaviour.
- Consider consulting a therapist. What might seem like a performance issue may actually be a serious problem. Go to a therapist and see if it helps.

Money
Should it be my money or our money? Whether it's before or after marriage, cash can cause a lot of trouble. A recent survey states that more couples now prefer to have separate bank accounts. Is this a healthy trend? Most experts think it is, as long as they pitch in equal amount for household expenses. Here's how you can sort your cash worries:

- Give you partner a clear indication of what you expect out of him/her every month.
- Try to work a system when one can be the saver and the other the spender. Or put aside equal amount for savings.
- But be flexible in case of a cash crunch.
- Don't hide debts from each other.
- Plan your short-term and long-term goals.

Lack of love and communication
Most couples feel that their partner is not affectionate and doesn't listen to them. That's often because neither party wants to sit down and sort out their problems. Talking about relationship issues never seems very important to most people. So, how do you communicate?

- Don't try to fit in your relationship talk between chores. You can't be checking your email or phone while talking to each other.
- To avoid disturbance when you are talking to each other, decide on a time mutually.
- Set some rules. If you feel that either you or your partner can't discuss problems because of anger, find some ways to get through those. Decide before hand that you won't shout at each other; ban words that you feel will hurt you or your partner.
- Be attentive when talking. Don't roll your eyes or slouch when your partner is talking. Your body language should indicate that you are interested in resolving the issues as much as your partner.
- Like your issues seem important to you, your partner, too, needs to get what he/she wants out of the relationship. Don't trivialise his/her issues.